The Hair

there is an item in our house so vital to the survival of the 3 year old that it warrants mentioning here. it is called "the hair," and that's exactly what it is. more specifically, it is my hair.

from a very early age Nate was very attached to my hair, as you can see in the picture above--he was 6 mos old. anytime he got anywhere near me he would reach for my hair. it was comfort for him. he played with it while nursing and eventually the two just went hand-in-hand. i even cut it off once thinking "out of sight out of mind." it didn't work. i ended up bent way over so that he could still play with it while nursing. not particularly comfortable for me, but if i didn't bend over he would keep reaching for it.

i didn't so much mind him being attached to me or playing with my hair. it was all of the incidental, light touching of my shoulders, neck and face that drove me insane. i got officially, "touched out."

but, it was the one thing, other than nursing, that would help him fall asleep. even after he stopped nursing, i would end up laying in bed with him for 30 or more minutes so he could play with my hair to put himself to sleep.

the one time i did get my hair cut, i at least had the forethought to keep the lock of hair that was cut off. it was held together with a rubber band, dried out completely. i just had to find something that would hold it all together. a rubberband wasn't going to cut it, obviously. i mean nate could get pretty rough with my hair, so it had to stand up to his brand of love.

we had tried to get him to attach to a fake piece of hair before. but he would have nothing to do with it. he knew it wasn't mama's hair. no sale.

so finally we decided that epoxy was the stuff to hold it all together. something strong, that could be somehow pushed or mushed into the end to hold each individual hair. so that's what we used. and it worked. we've had to redo the epoxy once because it fell apart in chunks, but it seems to be holding up well.

we didn't try to get him to take the hair until he was about 2 years old. at first, nate wouldn't have anything to do with it. but it occurred to me that it is my hair so he wouldn't be able to tell the difference in the dark. this was the test. was it the hair or mama that he needed? the first night i sort of blended the hair in with my hair. he grabbed onto it without much thought. i slipped my hair out and was able to leave the room. i did the same thing the next night. after that i didn't have to blend it in. i just gave him the hair and left the room.

we had found the key to getting him to go to sleep without crying. THE HAIR. i'm pretty proud of the fact that we never "had" to let him cry it out. i am a firm believer that it is really just a matter of finding the key to your child. and that too many parents are simply not willing to take the time to do that. but that is just my opinion. and who knows maybe the next baby won't be so easily pacified.

we've gotten rid of the binky at night. he gets it at nap time, but not at night. eventually, we'll drop it at naptime too. but i don't care about the hair. it isn't affecting his mouth like the binky can. he can have the hair until he's 50 for all i care.

i will say that there is a significant panic in our house if the hair goes missing, which it has, several times. we've always managed to find it again, but not without some anger involved for having lost it in the first place.

it goes everywhere with us. and is his constant companion. i think it is cute.

the care of the hair? i wash it and condition it and dry it just like my own hair. not too hard. speaking of which the hair needs a bath.

i will also say that we get some pretty strange looks from people when they see it in his hand. they usually get a brief description that he was very attached to my hair, so i cut some off for him and that they are looking at the result. the hair. most people think it is brilliant. "why didn't i think of that?" clearly hair is a popular lovey among babies.

and it makes sense really. how much more attached can you get to mom? if you have her hair, the rest of her can't be that far away. i'm not sure that if we had tried to get him to take it earlier it would have been so easy. i know that early on it really was me he wanted, my hair was just something to play with. only when he got older was it less me and more my hair that was the comfort.

who knows how long we'll have to deal with the hair, but i don't really care. i love my nate-o.