tender lessons

nate has always had a tender heart for those in need. sometimes a cat or dog--those ASPCA commercials have him in tears every time. sometimes a wild animal--he wants to give all of his money to the polar bears.

today while sitting in the parking lot at auto zone in santa fe we saw a homeless man sitting outside the store. we had just come from the über fabulous taco bell and happened to have some left over food. fresh and still warm and more than we needed. i stepped out of the car and asked if he was hungry. he said he was, so i offered him what was there at hand. he asked if i had any change for a cup of coffee. i gave him all the change i had on me at the time, which wasn't much. we talked about his last quarter which he used to buy a cigarette that day. i probably could have done more, but at least i didn't sit and do nothing.

nate watched with interest and then asked many questions. in the end, tears streaming down his face, he decided we should buy the man a car and build him a house out of logs. giving the man food and some change was simply not enough. so we talked about quite a few aspects of the situation.

first, that we can't afford to buy him a car or build him a house. ("but we can build it out of LOGS!" as if that wouldn't cost a single penny.)

second, that we have helped even if it was in a small way. a night's meal and a kind word help.

third, that sometimes people are homeless *by choice.* sometimes people cannot or do not wish to conform to the norms of our society.

fourth, that there are places and people who do more when the need is great. our favorite pet store *Pete's Pets* closed a while back. last winter we saw activity there again. nate was dying to go. certain he was that pete had opened his doors again. i suspected that pete had opened his doors to the homeless population. after a quick internet search, i confirmed my thoughts. i know there are several organizations that arrange and organize shelters in santa fe in the winter months. we aren't alone in our desire to help.

i wish we could help everyone who needs it and wants it. i wish we could buy them all cars and build them all houses. more, i wish this lesson were not so hard to learn. it hurts. it hurts him to not be able to do more and fix it all. it hurts me to not be able to do more. it hurts me to watch him learn that the world we live in is not always fair or kind or even-handed.

so i'm going to try to do more. the other night i finished knitting a hat. it took me only 3 days to make it. i thought, "how many can i make before it gets cold?" i'm going to find out. i'm going to enlist some friends who also knit. i'll probably donate them to a shelter, but i might keep a few to give to the people we encounter. i'm going to teach nate that we can help. one person, one meal, one hat at a time.

i hope nate keeps his tender heart. i hope it is not hardened too quickly by life or me or anyone else. more of us should have tender hearts for those who need help. i don't want to call it innocence and wish for him to outgrow it.

breathless

sitting there on the plane. late at night. jeff sleeping by the window. nate sleeping on the seat in between us. willow sleeping in my arms.

there he is again. my beautiful, quiet, missing boy. his face with little blond pigtails. sleeping so peacefully.

every time i see it, it leaves me breathless.

1st birthday

birthday girl and brother

with mamaD and papaD

Happy 1st Birthday Willow!

happy birthday dinner

the prop makes it official, right?

SOCCER!

in the beginning, things were slow

thumbs up!

action shot

Nate (with a chance shot of Papa in the background)

cheering section

9 months

driving in my car

new dolly

girly-girl with her dolly

Nate likes it, too

more mobility

she is on the move!

pulling up

standing

cruising

walking with help

getting better

thwarted!

on the move so much we had to block her access to the laundry and kitchen

bath time!!

there are things that nate has been dying to do with willow. he has been very patiently waiting for her to get big enough. this is one of them. he waited more than 6 months to be able to take a bath with her. i love that he gets so much joy from the simple things in life.

8 months

boo boos

we have unfortunately been going through our fair share (and then some) of bumps, bruises, and stitches lately. nate had his first trip to the doctor for one such event, we decided to forego the doctor for the second event, only to be followed recently by another that did require medical intervention.

nate's arm

courtesy of rough housing with mama

this was actually before the splint that was eventually put on it. before even the trip to the hospital for the x-ray (this was taken at urgent care). he had the splint on for a few days, then it didn't hurt anymore.

willow's forehead

courtesy of papa leaving her on the couch and nate letting her fall off

same day, nate's eyebrow

courtesy of the same couch and nate's own silliness

nate has recently had a "thing" for falling into pillows. he decided to try it on the couch pillows. our couch has wooden arms. apparently, he missed the pillow and instead hit the edge of the arm of the couch. came to us crying and bleeding. after cleaning it up and assessing the damage we decided butterfly stitches would be sufficient. so we cut some down to pre-schooler size and fixed him up. it didn't bleed very much or for very long. but he's got a nice scar!

where were jeff and i, you ask, when he decided to do his flopping? why, we were both in the bathroom getting ready for the day. nate and willow and i were going down to albuquerque that morning with some friends! what a way to start the day for both kids (see willow's forehead above). i was nauseated the whole rest of the day just thinking about nate's eyebrow.

just recently, nate's chin

courtesy of the classroom floor

[picture to come soon. it is still on my camera.]

last week i got a call while nate was in school. apparently he tripped and fell in the classroom and split his chin open on the floor. nothing else, just the floor. it wasn't bleeding bad. his teacher had cleaned him up and put a bandaid on it. she had called only because he asked her to call. she said he was calm about it, but when she put him on the phone with me he broke down in tears. i asked and he said, yes, he wanted me to come get him. so i woke willow up and went.

inspected the chin. it looked like there was a big chunk of skin missing which told me that it was a deep cut. this time i didn't think butterfly stitches would do the trick. not on his chin. so off we went to urgent care (after a story and snack, of course, because he didn't want to leave school).

the MD offered stitches or glue. with stitches he probably wouldn't have much of a scar and he could go to soccer practice that afternoon. with the glue, it would be a bigger scar and he'd have to be much more careful with it. stitches it was! three of them to be exact. nate really didn't like the numbing injection. (the doctor tried to tell him it wouldn't hurt as much as a vaccination. except we don't do those, so his argument was moot.) the cut was cleaned and stitched. and we went home to nap--without a tetanus shot or antibiotics, thank you very much.

nate says he never wants to even drive by urgent care again. we took his stitches out here at home a week later.

nate's finger

courtesy of nate's own clumsiness

[picture coming soon. i haven't even taken it yet since it just happened today. i expect it will be really pretty tomorrow.]

nate tripped and tried to catch himself with the back of his wooden chair. instead of stopping the fall, he fell with the chair and pinched his finger between the chair and the floor. it throbbed as all good smashed fingers do for some time. it swelled up pretty good, too. i checked for a break but didn't find one. so we let it be. after nap time he wasn't crying about it anymore, but it was already starting to turn purple. we'll see how this one progresses. there is a chance he'll lose the nail at some point down the road.

the really funny thing is when nate was little he'd take a fall and get right up. maybe a few tears, but not much. he was usually good with a little hug or even a kiss on the boo boo and off running again. he even got to the point where he'd kiss his own boo boo and keep going. he took spills that made jeff and i hurt, and he wouldn't even hardly bat an eye. now he cries and cries and cries and whines about the littlest thing. not that any of these injuries are small. not that they didn't hurt like hell. but i know he's taken worse spills and not hardly shed a tear. (i'm thinking of the time he fell and hit his forehead on the door jam. OUCH!)

hatching a dinosaur

for christmas my mom had gotten two dinosaur eggs for nate's stocking. she was hoping we would do them up there, but they got put back in the stocking and forgotten in the push and shove. so we did one when we got home, and we are saving the other one for when they come down to visit.

this little T-Rex was kind of slimy when he came out, but i think he's dried out now. nate is a proud papa!

sledding at school

little forest playschool has a great sledding hill!

they went sledding every school day for weeks. nate loved it. there were some good injuries--none of them were nate's, thank goodness.

fun with scissors

maybe you can just see it? there is a chunk of nate's hair missing. right up there near the crown of his head. while we were in idaho falls, nate decided he need to experiment with scissors. first he was trying to cut the TP with the scissors instead of using the convenient perforations. then he decided to see what the scissors would do to his hair. FUN!

nate at LA Gym

nate LOVES LA Gymnastics!

we've been to several birthday parties at LA Gym. it is where he wants his birthday party this year--that's a possibility. i think he would love to start taking lessons there, but i just can't afford that and school, too. (not to mention the time investment.) so he'll have to be happy with parties.

fun in colfax!

willow playing peek-a-boo with Papa D

Papa D and nate playing in the snow.

there was much "playing in the snow" on our trip; it snowed more than 5 feet while we were there. we played with shovels repeatedly. personally, i'm all played out.

christmas 2008

gift #1

see that beautiful lady sitting there with those cute kids? that is my mom's mom. my grandmother. for christmas my dad and my uncle flew Mama Hall up to visit. she lives in florida, and she said several times during our visit that this was only the 2nd time in her 80-something years that she had ever been away from home for christmas.

she was supposed to be a surprise for me, as well, but my brother slipped and mentioned that he was going to pick her up at the airport and drive her to my parents' house. whoops! it was a nice surprise anyway.

christmas eve

for christmas every year, jeff's stepmom makes the grandkids pajamas. this year i asked her to make nate a robe instead. he loves it!

christmas morning

that's right, matching jammies! and this will probably happen again next year, too, so long as they are both willing and i can find matching christmas jammies for them.

christmas for willow

i think this was the only gift she actually opened.

she looks tired, right? shortly after this she fell asleep in my arms in the middle of all the christmas morning chaos. yes, tired.

christmas means . . . family.

willow and tiegan

tiegan moving in on nate's nerf!

the boy could barely crawl, and he already knew what was cool. nerf battles followed throughout the holiday. nerf is a great way of taking out our frustrations with each other on each other without lasting damage.

willow found a new friend in tiegan's older half-brother.

he was sure smitten with her, and he was so good with her, too.

(but then he's got a few younger siblings.)