easier

i am having a hard time. the legislative session has started again. big changes happened this year. we lost our sponsor (Keith was promoted to the new governor's office chief of staff). we got a new sponsor (Sen John Ryan). some rules at the DOH have changed, so we have to change the way we talk about things. none of that is my problem, though.

i'm just tired of it. tired of the politics. tired of politicians playing games. tired of my heart being on what feels like the losing end.

a big part of me just wants to go to the capitol and tell them to play the game by their own rules. i know it wouldn't change them, but it would make me feel better. i'm an honest, open, face-value person. i don't play games well. i don't have a poker face. i don't dicker over the price of things.

i will see this through to the end, but i'm not going to lie and say it is not difficult. that it is not affecting me. giving me a poor opinion of people.

it is weighing on me heavily tonight. making me very depressed.