my scale said *holy crap* 213 this morning.
naturally, i'm not in the least bit in love with that number. hate it, in fact. hate it even more that i am gaining weight again. don't believe it when someone says "you always lose weight while breastfeeding." it has never worked as a weight loss tool for me. i find myself STARVING (as in stomach growling, blood sugar crashing, hands shaking hungry) constantly. that's definitely the whole "feeding two people" phenomenon. the bad part is that now i actually weigh more than i did 2 months ago. i lost most of my baby weight (all but about 5 lbs of it), and now i'm watching the scale go back up.
where's the love? i am trying to love myself as i am. that is not to say that i don't need to get up and get my ass moving. but it does mean that in my days of nate and willow chaos, i refuse to beat myself up over the extra weight. heck i can't even manage to shower, shave my legs, and brush my teeth all on the same day. much less keep up with laundry, dishes, toys, and housework all at once. so the chances of me getting out the door to exercise much less have the energy for it are nil.
so i guess i'm giving myself a bit of a break here. not letting myself off the hook as far as watching what i eat (no more haagen daz!), but certainly not pulling out my hair (which is already falling out in handfuls) over a few pounds gained. i'm hopeful that in the next couple of months, as willow gets a bit older and less mama intensive, i can get a leg up not only on my house but myself as well. if for no other reason than i'm tired of having to buy bigger pants!
3 comments:
After Ethan was born I was totally not in a good place with the love thy self. I hated being that large, injured my foot (in fact you suggestion saved me from many more months of torture, b/c I went to a chiropractor!)
I went on a diet. Hated it but lost 35 lbs! I weighed more than you do right now pre-diet.
Now, I am not dieting instead I am running, the process of weight loss is slower than dieting, but I feel so so so good about myself. Dare I say I am loving myself!?!? My body is far from perfect, but i love me for getting out there. I started walking. Then it rolled from there.
It may not even be that you *need* to exercise, instead you may need to do something for YOU. Having two children is a tough gig especially for us stay at home moms. Give a little to yourself and take care of you. The warm and fuzzies for thyself will follow!
miss you.
hi halo,I feel your frustration, I lost all my baby weight as well but I feel like and look like i'm five months pregnant. I found out after seeing your dad that I have post-partum depression, which i never had with ahlayna. so kyle wants me out of the house and becoming active and I am exhausted! I have 3 kids to get up at 6 am to get ready for school and caring for a 7 month old. i get out once in awhile but men just don't get it. kyle didn't carry a baby for nine months and give birth. he had the easy part of watching, cutting the cord and holding Tirion. anyway take care of yourself and don't stress out about weight loss. what you want will come eventually. love you.
I feel your pain, girl. I've been there soooo many times :) You've got to tap into what works. I have a hard time finding time to do much of anything 'meish' like working out... so I choose to diet. I do a three day diet and then pig out the rest of the week. Sounds lame but works for me ;) Good luck!!! You'll get there.
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